Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Behind in my plans for 2013

I was going to make the title "Plans for 2013" and found myself typing "Plans for 1993."  Perhaps that tells everyone something about how far behind I  am in my plans.  I am behind.  Far behind.  I'm not sure I'm going to catch up right way.  My apologies.
By way of explanation - my right arm is in a brace most of the time.  I think that is what you call this device. It is an elastic thing-a-ma-jig which comes up my arm a ways. Inside of it is a metal piece to keep my wrist straight.  It has something to do with stress, a back injury a few years back, repetitive motion disease from too much time at the keyboard, and a nerve somewhere in the small of my back that takes signals from down my right leg and up my right arm. The doctor isn't sure but it might have something to do with polio that I had when I was a baby.  Hey, I survived when most kids who had polio in those years died a long time ago so a little pain is a small price to pay for being alive.  I like being alive.
It hasn't been all bad.  Sometimes I have had amusing adventures with this nerve thing.  A long time ago I was in Tennessee when an outbreak of some fever carried by ticks was rampant.  A fellow wanted me to see something he had back in the woods and I wasn't in a position to deny his request.  A tick found me and buried her head in the square middle of the side of my posterior.  All the symptoms that the magazines warned you about developed - a slight fever and a reddening about the size of a half dollar around the site of the bite. So, off to the doctor I went.
The doctor schlepped me off to her Physician's - Assistant who put me in a room.  "Shuck your clothes and put on this paper gown and lay on your side on the table."  So I did that.  A young nurse type person is there with the Physician's - Assistant lady.  The Physician's Assistant lifts the bottom of my paper gown which wouldn't cover much of a small person and I'm not small, never was, So there I am essentially naked laying there on the table feeling a bit vulnerable.
I suppose its a male thing to feel especially vulnerable naked in the hands a woman whose hands are anywhere in proximity of your you-knows.  My feeling of vulnerability was momentarily quite intense. 
She carefully placed the tick which she had extracted from my bottom into a vial which she sealed, labeled, and sent off to be tested for presence of the dreaded tick virus. 
Some of my symptoms seemed consistent with the common symptoms of the tick virus so she proceeded to examine me rather thoroughly all over.  As we discussed what I was experiencing I explained something of the nerve thing which I've had to some extent especially in my legs most of my life.
She was examining my arm when I could see some sort of light bulb come on in her eyes.  For just a few seconds she held my hand with that certain far away look in her eyes which under other circumstances could make a man have hopeful sensations.
"I'll be right back," she said and left me alone, still essentially naked with the young nurse person who sat down near by and looked at me.  So there we are, a naked man and a young woman.  We can just look at each other, close our eyes and pretend the other person isn't there, or we can converse.  We conversed.  I was amused that her eyes were not always focused into mine.
About an hour later the Physician's - Assistant returns all bubbly. 
"I've found the answer! I hope you are up for an adventure!" she exclaims as she pulls the gown up more exposing me further.
"I want to blindfold you so you can't see what I'm doing," she said, "Are you ok with that?"
The naked man on the table thought "What the heck, this adventure has gone this far, let's see what comes next!"  and answered aloud "Sure!"
She rubbed the side of my bottom where the tick had been with alcohol and stuck it with a pin.  "Did you feel  that?" 


This went on until I could feel the pin whereupon she began to map the field where the nerve spangled close to the surface across my bottom and down my leg towards the knee.  All the while she was marking the edge of the area where I had feeling with a felt tip marker so that when she was satisfied there was a "map" of the damaged nerve marked in dashed lines on my body. 
She wanted to make photographs of the map.  I agreed, so I suppose somewhere in the files at that doctor's office there remain photos of at least my neither portions in all their glory.  Sigh.  Perhaps I had best not run for public office or those photos might surface.  On second thought, I just might get the women's vote.  Who knows?
Next she wanted to show off her map and have a class.  At the same time she was asking my permission she had me by the arm and propelled me off the table onto my feet.  The next thing I knew I was in the hallway and she was calling all the nurses and the doctor to come take a look. 
So there I was in all my glory reacting normally to all the pretty young women eagerly looking at me while the Physician's Assistant lady was excitedly explaining to all of them what she had done and what she had discovered in my case. 
Sigh, what one must endure for the sake of science.
A week later the test results came back negative for the presence of the dreaded tick virus.  Next time we'll talk about my plans for 2013 but when you see I haven't answered your comments on my videos on Canovals or Canovals2 or that I haven't yet commented on some of yours, now you know my arm and my hand are having a bit of a problem.  Don't feel sorry for me.  It hasn't all been bad.

do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,

Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac

15  Siječanj 2013


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