Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Radio, Television, and YouTube

I have informally extended a project about Croatian internet radio in which I was invited to participate by Nenad Bach and which we talked about on the last post. There is a lot of information floating around which suggests that many people are moving away from traditional radio / television to the internet. Google's whole business model is based on the notion that this move has already been underway and is substantial.
 
Over the years, I've had a few modest experiences with broadcasting on radio/television in Southern Illinois, Central Tennessee and in South Texas.  In each case the population within the reception area amounted to about three million and the stations presumed from their studies that the audience might be around 300,000.  The fact is that for any particular broadcast we didn't know how many listened.  We knew that some people tuned in because they wrote letters.

It is difficult to compare "traditional" transmissions to internet transmissions where we can have hard data. On YouTube for example - we know how many times a video was clicked and we know in the aggregate how many minutes people stayed on that video.  The algorithm which YouTube currently uses to "rank" a particular video takes into account "engagement" which includes "comments","like / dislike", and now its important to somehow keep the viewer on the video all the way through.
 
On YouTube we do not actually know where someone is located.  We know only where they say they are located so I did not take location into account.  My specifications were simple:  channels which broadcast a fair amount of music by Croatian performers were included.  In this group were channels operated by what appear to be Croatians in the same five continents where we found internet radio, as well as Slovenia and Serbia.  A few I know to be operating from France, Germany, and Sweden.
 
A few channels have dropped out in the last few years.  A few more have been hit with DCMA complaints and have been dropped from YouTube.  If memory serves, those may have amounted to as many as forty million views between them.  I did not take into consideration channels with under a hundred thousand views. 
 
Among the remaining top seventy Croatian/Croatian friendly channels the views amount to about 300,000,000 since 2006.  I've informally kept up with the top 20 or so channels for several years and I'm aware that the vast majority of those views have come in the last twenty-four to thirty months. 
 
This sounds impressive until you realize one Korean fellow made one video with one song which has gone over a billion views.  If you discount that one as a fluke it still sounds impressive until you look around just a little.  As a "group" we've accomplished a lot but we have a long long way to go.
 
There was a time when all one needed was a killer song to get a lot of views.  That's still important, but now it works best with a video which keeps the viewer "engaged" throughout the song.  It is no longer sufficient just to have a lot of music on a channel and it is no longer sufficient to have a wonderful piece of music and a killer video although all that is important. Now it requires that the broadcaster continually "engage" the audience and it requires that we find ways to find and engage our potential audience.  It also requires that we engage the performers and that we engage the companies which distribute the music.
 
Can I tell you how to do any of this?  No I can't.  I am still learning, but there is plenty of help.  Lisa Irby  has information on YouTube for us.   You will have to follow your nose among her extensive information and you will have to adapt it to suit your style but her information is solid and a good place to start. Lisa  also has a blog with a world of information on it for us.  This isn't about promoting Lisa, this is about learning how to promote us and our performers.  YouTube  provides us some help also. 
 
We have to out perform radio.  We have to out perform Television.  We may have to use FaceBook, Twitter, blogging of some sort, or whatever is available to us.  Oh yes, we might even have to somehow use some radio and television along the way. We have to use every legitimate means at our disposal to accomplish this task. 
 
We are broadcasters. We are DJ's at the party. We have a product to sell.  That product is the music of our beloved Homeland and her singers where ever they are in the world.  Its our job to sell this product and not the job of the performers and it is not the job of the Record Houses.  The performers task is to compose and perform.  The record companies job is to make the records and count the sales. We are the sales people.
 
We are closer to the people, we are closer to the market than anyone else could ever hope to be at this time.  If we want to keep our jobs and continue to have access to the product, then we must succeed at our task.  We must  engage as many Croatians in Croatia and in the diaspora as we can.  We must engage other people as well. The Japanese already know "U boj, U boj," so we have a good start on this project. 
 
Along the way we must discover and help our performers know how to make a little money on the work we do to promote their efforts.  The record houses must see an upswing in sales.  We must put the music out there so people of  all kinds want to hear it and want to buy it.  That's the task.
 
Yes, we are competitors but we also have a common goal - our Homeland, our culture.   We can either play around with this or we can get after it and have a great time doing it. Are you ready?
 
Za Dom, Spremni!!
 
 
do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,

Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac
14 svibanj 2013

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Music from Home

Sixty-five years ago our music from Home was at home in our house.  Sometimes on a Friday night, Mama and Tata would take out their harmonike from the closet and they would play and sing to us.  Sometimes they teach me to sing along with them. Tata made puppets from wood and plaster and mother made clothes for them.  They presented little shows for people as a hobby. To dramatize the shows, Tata would play music the way he liked to play it.
 
I remember when the leather broke on Tata's harmonika how he cried.  Tata did not cry very often.  Mama had already tried to fix hers with artificial leather. Leatherette they called it - it was a good covering for chairs but not for use in Harmonike so it had not worked very well. They cried together  because sister needed money for piano lessons and so at that time we did not have the money to buy the material to repair any harmonike.
 
Now there was no music anymore that could go around places with the puppets and soon they went away in the closet forever.  Mama and Tata are gone now but I still have two or three of their puppets.
 
Sister wanted now to go to college so Mama and Tata had to sell her piano for the money for college.  Some years later when Tata had more money and he bought piano for mother, sister became angry and she would not sing anymore with us.  Too bad for her, we sang anyway when she was not around.
 
In High School I played clarinet.  Sometimes then we had a clarinet / piano duo playing while Mama and Tata would sing.  We had a little record player which would play big records.  We owned a few good records and when people came  from Home many times they would bring new records.  We would share records with other families we knew and they would share with us.  Mama controlled the record player.  When it was time to listen to music she would say to me what she wanted to hear and I was the "disk jockey."
 
In those years I bought a little radio.  Mama and Tata were afraid at first about what kind of music I would play on this radio.  When they discovered  that I tuned into KFRD Rosenburg and KULP in El Campo they were pleased.   These stations had early morning shows which were for all kinds of Slavic people.  One of the Disk Jockeys at KFRD was Croatian man so we heard good music now in the morning. 
 
I went away a long time to college, to the military, to work.  When I came back, KFRD is gone from the air. But KULP is there still in the morning with a Polka Show but for many years I was too far away to get even their broadcast. Lots of years went by when I was busy just trying to make a living.  I missed the old ways and the old music but there wasn't much time to do anything about that except just miss it in my heart - until I was at the end of the earth down here in Brownsville where the only radio or TV is Spanish or
English.
 
Then I had a terminally ill wife on my hands who dearly wanted to hear the old music.  Somehow it was comfort to her - and to me. We had a few cassette tapes and then we bought a few CDs from Home but with all the medical  expense we did not have money to buy very many. 
 
I set out to discover what to do.  On the internet I found Dennis Svatek. He is not Croatian but he plays a lot of good music and he makes it freely available to download and listen to it. 
 
Then I discoved Radio Narodna on the internet.  On Easter after Carole died, they played on croatian a song same as in Lutheran Hymnal "Jesus Christ is Risen Today."  I shall not forget that Easter.  I stayed awake all night for Easter Vigil and was rewarded at the top of every hour with the recording of those wonderful women singing that song.  Someday I will find that recording -
I want it.
 
Along the way, I discovered many other internet radio stations with croatian language broadcasts.  Most of these stations are based in Croatia but many  are or were based also in North America. 
 
I discovered YouTube and the world of croatian music to be found there. The ladies at Croatia Gifts in Ohio once asked me how I choose the music I buy and I answered that I go to YouTube and listen to a singer first. If I like the sound, then, when I have the money, I buy the CD so I can hear the music in my car when I am away from my house. Eventually I learned a  little about making videos and I am now a "broadcaster" on YouTube. I am grateful that almost all of the Croatian performers are friendly about the promotion of their material I try to give them there. 
 
If the performers can figure out how to do it, they could even run
advertising on my videos with their music and make a little extra money for themselves.  Right now the Germans are trying to claim their material and make this money but I keep chasing them away.
 
The learning curve on YouTube is interesting.  I've had an account on YouTube since 1999 but it was a couple of years before I understood the potential there.  Now I'm getting over 3,000 views each day and that number is growing rapidly.  I've been learning and experimenting with various things and I expect that number to be over 10,000 views a day by the end of next year.  So, in fact, I am broadcasting to a fairly large and growing community.
 
Recently, Nenad Bach asked me to work on a project with him. What an honor to be asked to do this!! The project was to discover all the Croatian language radio stations in the world outside of Croatia.
 
I discovered there are some broadcasts I knew nothing about before.  There is even a broadcast from China on croatian language.  There are internet broadcasts from Australia and New Zealand, and from Argentina.  In fact, there are broadcasts from every continent except Africa and Antarctica.
 
I discovered some changes in North America which surprised me, although I should not have been surprised at all.  These changes reflect the lives of  Croatian Americans and the changing realities of an interconnected world. Radio Stations like my old KFRD are gone now from the air because we all grew up and went away somewhere else.  I remember broadcasts in the southern Wisconsin area.  There was a "Radio Club" there, organized to raise the money to see to it that Croatians had at least a little sound from Home.

In Ohio there are still broadcasts but they are mostly one hour  "packages" from Home.  One is carried by a mostly Afro-American station which views us as a "minority," which of course we are, I suppose.  I would guess that over the next five  years most of these one hour a week broadcasts will disappear.
 
I found nothing at all in Seattle where there is a sizable Croatian community.  There is a station from Vancouver however, and one in Toronto and Ottawa.  Down in California where there is a large Croatian population, there are no longer any broadcasts. St Anthony's Croatian Catholic Church used to broadcast their mass on a Sunday, but no longer.  I spoke to a priest from  there and he was not interested in the idea even that I could help him either broadcast or rebroadcast the service for free on YouTube.
 
On the Gulf Coast region of the USA there are no stations that I can find broadcasting either on the air or on the internet in Croatian even though Croatians can be found strung out all along the coast line in various  communities.
 
When I put out an appeal on both YouTube and FaceBook to help me locate Croatian Radio Stations around the world, Marijan sent me a list of Croatian radio stations accessible in Germany - all are based in Croatia.  Ana wrote "David every Monday at 14:00 your time on Radio 105 songs on request and calls live from around the world for the Croats at Radio 105! [Selnica]"
 
Does the diminishing presence of North American croatian radio indicate a lack of demand for croatian language material?  As Croatians are assimilated into an english speaking world do we want less material on croatian?  I think that these would be incorrect conclusions. The demand may be higher than ever before. The fact is that now we are connected around the world via Facebook, YouTube and other media.  The radio stations, and some TV broadcasts, from the Homeland and various locations are only a few clicks away on the internet and the streams are usually reliable. At this very moment I'm connected to Vox Croatica down in Argentina, FaceBook, and YouTube simultaneously and my cellphone is right beside me so I can talk or text anyone anywhere.  I don't need a broadcaster located in my backyard anymore.
 
That leaves open the questions surrounding the unique needs concerning Croats in the diaspora.  I don't have an answer except that as always we shall make good advantage of all the tools which come available and keep on scrambling like we always have. There are new tools just now available on YouTube and G+.  Other technology will come along.  Mama and Tata's harmonike went away years ago, but we have what we have and we shall find how to make our way somehow.
 
If you don't mind, keep your ears and your eyes open for croatian language broadcasts of any kind outside of Croatia,  and let me know what you hear and see. Also, let me know what you would like to hear and see.  There are a lot of us Croats out here in the world away from Home.  What do we want available to us?  Talk to me.  

 
do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,

Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac
 
9 svibanj 2013






 

Monday, February 4, 2013

Canovals 2013 the plans



I promised to put this year's plans down in writing. It looks like if I wait much longer that it will be next year already and we cannot have that, can we? So here goes:
 
Item one: I plan to write more right here all year long. 
 
Item two: The Canovals YouTube channel: releases are planned for every Wednesday and Friday all year long.
 
Wednesday releases will have a wide variety - old Soundies (whose copyright presumably is lost - but Harry Fox and others are claiming some of them and putting their advertising on them, sigh); Czech, Slovak, and Slovenian music from several sources as well as some selected Serbian Music; and of course, as long as we can get by with it - selections from our dear Prisma, from our historic friend Homero Prado, and Sunny Ozuna from our own backyard. There could be a half dozen or so special Croatian songs show up on Wednesday and there may be a surprise or two along the way as well.
 
Friday: Croatian music on croatian language. Period. In all this I'm planning to have one Viktorija Kulisic song per month if I can locate enough songs to do that. I'm thinking that I ought to have a few more Drazen Zecic and some heavy hitters in the line up too.
 
The problem with that last notion is copyright. GMbh and CroRec are tightening the strings on their copyrights a little from the looks of things out on Google. It's their music, they have the right to do that. Blessedly both of them have been friendly so far in letting us fans have the music on YouTube - as long as they can fetch a little money from advertising and direct listeners to where they can purchase the music. I'm for that 100%. They have to make money and so does YouTube or we wouldn't have any music or any place to show our handiwork when we make videos for the music. It's all good. Still I tremble each time I see an old respected channel bite the dust, and it happens. 
 
See, I'm in this for more than just the social aspect, although that's good and I like my friends and fans a lot. My goal is to draw people to listen to Croatian Music. I believe we have something special and I want to help broaden the base of people who are familiar with our culture and our music - and, indirectly broaden the base of people who might buy some of it for themselves. I own quite a few CDs. Nearly every CD I own is from a singer or a group which I first heard on YouTube. My wallet simply doesn't have enough loose change in it to buy music I might not like. Back in the '60s, in Houston for example, when you went into a record shop, you could take a record into a booth and play it to make sure it was what you wanted to own. YouTube serves somewhat the same function in the twentyfirst century.

 
Just as important is the cultural aspect. There are probably as many of us Croats in North America as there are in Croatia. Until just a very few years ago we depended on the occaisional record which someone might bring with them from Home and we'd play that record until it flat wore out as smooth as an old Montgomery Ward used slick. If anyone needs to know what that used to be, Let me know and I'll tell you some other time. Suffice it to say - we wore the records from Home completely out. With YouTube and the internet we have a wonderful musical means to keep our culture and our ways alive and flourishing. 
 
Item 3: Canovals2 - I've run out of steam, so the plans for Canovals2 will come next time.
 
 
do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,


Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac

4 Veljača  2013

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Behind in my plans for 2013

I was going to make the title "Plans for 2013" and found myself typing "Plans for 1993."  Perhaps that tells everyone something about how far behind I  am in my plans.  I am behind.  Far behind.  I'm not sure I'm going to catch up right way.  My apologies.
.
By way of explanation - my right arm is in a brace most of the time.  I think that is what you call this device. It is an elastic thing-a-ma-jig which comes up my arm a ways. Inside of it is a metal piece to keep my wrist straight.  It has something to do with stress, a back injury a few years back, repetitive motion disease from too much time at the keyboard, and a nerve somewhere in the small of my back that takes signals from down my right leg and up my right arm. The doctor isn't sure but it might have something to do with polio that I had when I was a baby.  Hey, I survived when most kids who had polio in those years died a long time ago so a little pain is a small price to pay for being alive.  I like being alive.
 
It hasn't been all bad.  Sometimes I have had amusing adventures with this nerve thing.  A long time ago I was in Tennessee when an outbreak of some fever carried by ticks was rampant.  A fellow wanted me to see something he had back in the woods and I wasn't in a position to deny his request.  A tick found me and buried her head in the square middle of the side of my posterior.  All the symptoms that the magazines warned you about developed - a slight fever and a reddening about the size of a half dollar around the site of the bite. So, off to the doctor I went.
 
The doctor schlepped me off to her Physician's - Assistant who put me in a room.  "Shuck your clothes and put on this paper gown and lay on your side on the table."  So I did that.  A young nurse type person is there with the Physician's - Assistant lady.  The Physician's Assistant lifts the bottom of my paper gown which wouldn't cover much of a small person and I'm not small, never was, So there I am essentially naked laying there on the table feeling a bit vulnerable.
 
"Scalpel!"
 
I suppose its a male thing to feel especially vulnerable naked in the hands a woman whose hands are anywhere in proximity of your you-knows.  My feeling of vulnerability was momentarily quite intense. 
 
"Tweezers!" 
 
She carefully placed the tick which she had extracted from my bottom into a vial which she sealed, labeled, and sent off to be tested for presence of the dreaded tick virus. 
 
Some of my symptoms seemed consistent with the common symptoms of the tick virus so she proceeded to examine me rather thoroughly all over.  As we discussed what I was experiencing I explained something of the nerve thing which I've had to some extent especially in my legs most of my life.
 
She was examining my arm when I could see some sort of light bulb come on in her eyes.  For just a few seconds she held my hand with that certain far away look in her eyes which under other circumstances could make a man have hopeful sensations.
 
"I'll be right back," she said and left me alone, still essentially naked with the young nurse person who sat down near by and looked at me.  So there we are, a naked man and a young woman.  We can just look at each other, close our eyes and pretend the other person isn't there, or we can converse.  We conversed.  I was amused that her eyes were not always focused into mine.
 
About an hour later the Physician's - Assistant returns all bubbly. 
 
"I've found the answer! I hope you are up for an adventure!" she exclaims as she pulls the gown up more exposing me further.
 
"I want to blindfold you so you can't see what I'm doing," she said, "Are you ok with that?"
 
The naked man on the table thought "What the heck, this adventure has gone this far, let's see what comes next!"  and answered aloud "Sure!"
 
She rubbed the side of my bottom where the tick had been with alcohol and stuck it with a pin.  "Did you feel  that?" 

"No."

This went on until I could feel the pin whereupon she began to map the field where the nerve spangled close to the surface across my bottom and down my leg towards the knee.  All the while she was marking the edge of the area where I had feeling with a felt tip marker so that when she was satisfied there was a "map" of the damaged nerve marked in dashed lines on my body. 
 
She wanted to make photographs of the map.  I agreed, so I suppose somewhere in the files at that doctor's office there remain photos of at least my neither portions in all their glory.  Sigh.  Perhaps I had best not run for public office or those photos might surface.  On second thought, I just might get the women's vote.  Who knows?
 
Next she wanted to show off her map and have a class.  At the same time she was asking my permission she had me by the arm and propelled me off the table onto my feet.  The next thing I knew I was in the hallway and she was calling all the nurses and the doctor to come take a look. 
 
So there I was in all my glory reacting normally to all the pretty young women eagerly looking at me while the Physician's Assistant lady was excitedly explaining to all of them what she had done and what she had discovered in my case. 
 
Sigh, what one must endure for the sake of science.
 
A week later the test results came back negative for the presence of the dreaded tick virus.  Next time we'll talk about my plans for 2013 but when you see I haven't answered your comments on my videos on Canovals or Canovals2 or that I haven't yet commented on some of yours, now you know my arm and my hand are having a bit of a problem.  Don't feel sorry for me.  It hasn't all been bad.


do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,

Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac

15  Siječanj 2013


 

Monday, January 14, 2013

ELEONORA

I failed to mention in my last post about THE RAVEN, that I am beginning a new series on my Canovals2 channel on YouTube entitled "u sumrak s Davidom."  David - that's me:  Canovals, Slavonac, David - all me.  Come on (if you dare) , step into the twightlight with David for adventures of the heart.  Edgar Allan Poe's Eleonora is the second in this series.  
 
There's another series going also - David in the Dark.  David in the Dark will appear only once each month - perhaps in the dark of the moon. 
 
From now on, I hope to put the text of each presentation right on the video to make it easy for the listerner to follow along.  ELEONORA is already produced and released so here is the text:
 
Sub conservatione formae specificae salva anima. Raymond Lully.

I AM come of a race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion. Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence—whether much that is glorious—whether all that is profound—does not spring from disease of thought—from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect. They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity, and thrill, in awakening, to find that they have been upon the verge of the great secret. In snatches, they learn something of the wisdom which is of good, and more of the mere knowledge which is of evil. They penetrate, however, rudderless or compassless into the vast ocean of the "light ineffable," and again, like the adventures of the Nubian geographer, "agressi sunt mare tenebrarum, quid in eo esset exploraturi."
  
We will say, then, that I am mad. I grant, at least, that there are two distinct conditions of my mental existence—the condition of a lucid reason, not to be disputed, and belonging to the memory of events forming the first epoch of my life—and a condition of shadow and doubt, appertaining to the present, and to the recollection of what constitutes the second great era of my being. Therefore, what I shall tell of the earlier period, believe; and to what I may relate of the later time, give only such credit as may seem due, or doubt it altogether, or, if doubt it ye cannot, then play unto its riddle the Oedipus.
  
She whom I loved in youth, and of whom I now pen calmly and distinctly these remembrances, was the sole daughter of the only sister of my mother long departed. Eleonora was the name of my cousin. We had always dwelled together, beneath a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. No unguided footstep ever came upon that vale; for it lay away up among a range of giant hills that hung beetling around about it, shutting out the sunlight from its sweetest recesses. No path was trodden in its vicinity; and, to reach our happy home, there was need of putting back, with force, the foliage of many thousands of forest trees, and of crushing to death the glories of many millions of fragrant flowers. Thus it was that we lived all alone, knowing nothing of the world without the valley—I, and my cousin, and her mother.
  
From the dim regions beyond the mountains at the upper end of our encircled domain, there crept out a narrow and deep river, brighter than all save the eyes of Eleonora; and, winding stealthily about in mazy courses, it passed away, at length, through a shadowy gorge, among hills still dimmer than those whence it had issued. We called it the "River of Silence"; for there seemed to be a hushing influence in its flow. No murmur arose from its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles upon which we loved to gaze, far down within its bosom, stirred not at all, but lay in a motionless content, each in its own old station, shining on gloriously forever.
  
The margin of the river, and of the many dazzling rivulets that glided through devious ways into its channel, as well as the spaces that extended from the margins away down into the depths of the streams until they reached the bed of pebbles at the bottom,—these spots, not less than the whole surface of the valley, from the river to the mountains that girdled it in, were carpeted all by a soft green grass, thick, short, perfectly even, and vanilla-perfumed, but so besprinkled throughout with the yellow buttercup, the white daisy, the purple violet, and the ruby-red asphodel, that its exceeding beauty spoke to our hearts in loud tones, of the love and of the glory of God.
  
And, here and there, in groves about this grass, like wildernesses of dreams, sprang up fantastic trees, whose tall slender stems stood not upright, but slanted gracefully toward the light that peered at noon-day into the centre of the valley. Their mark was speckled with the vivid alternate splendor of ebony and silver, and was smoother than all save the cheeks of Eleonora; so that, but for the brilliant green of the huge leaves that spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with the Zephyrs, one might have fancied them giant serpents of Syria doing homage to their sovereign the Sun.
   
Hand in hand about this valley, for fifteen years, roamed I with Eleonora before Love entered within our hearts. It was one evening at the close of the third lustrum of her life, and of the fourth of my own, that we sat, locked in each other's embrace, beneath the serpent-like trees, and looked down within the water of the River of Silence at our images therein. We spoke no words during the rest of that sweet day, and our words even upon the morrow were tremulous and few. We had drawn the God Eros from that wave, and now we felt that he had enkindled within us the fiery souls of our forefathers. The passions which had for centuries distinguished our race, came thronging with the fancies for which they had been equally noted, and together breathed a delirious bliss over the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. A change fell upon all things. Strange, brilliant flowers, star-shaped, burn out upon the trees where no flowers had been known before. The tints of the green carpet deepened; and when, one by one, the white daisies shrank away, there sprang up in place of them, ten by ten of the ruby-red asphodel. And life arose in our paths; for the tall flamingo, hitherto unseen, with all gay glowing birds, flaunted his scarlet plumage before us. The golden and silver fish haunted the river, out of the bosom of which issued, little by little, a murmur that swelled, at length, into a lulling melody more divine than that of the harp of Aeolus-sweeter than all save the voice of Eleonora. And now, too, a voluminous cloud, which we had long watched in the regions of Hesper, floated out thence, all gorgeous in crimson and gold, and settling in peace above us, sank, day by day, lower and lower, until its edges rested upon the tops of the mountains, turning all their dimness into magnificence, and shutting us up, as if forever, within a magic prison-house of grandeur and of glory.
The loveliness of Eleonora was that of the Seraphim; but she was a maiden artless and innocent as the brief life she had led among the flowers. No guile disguised the fervor of love which animated her heart, and she examined with me its inmost recesses as we walked together in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, and discoursed of the mighty changes which had lately taken place therein.
  
At length, having spoken one day, in tears, of the last sad change which must befall Humanity, she thenceforward dwelt only upon this one sorrowful theme, interweaving it into all our converse, as, in the songs of the bard of Schiraz, the same images are found occurring, again and again, in every impressive variation of phrase.
  
She had seen that the finger of Death was upon her bosom—that, like the ephemeron, she had been made perfect in loveliness only to die; but the terrors of the grave to her lay solely in a consideration which she revealed to me, one evening at twilight, by the banks of the River of Silence. She grieved to think that, having entombed her in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, I would quit forever its happy recesses, transferring the love which now was so passionately her own to some maiden of the outer and everyday world. And, then and there, I threw myself hurriedly at the feet of Eleonora, and offered up a vow, to herself and to Heaven, that I would never bind myself in marriage to any daughter of Earth—that I would in no manner prove recreant to her dear memory, or to the memory of the devout affection with which she had blessed me. And I called the Mighty Ruler of the Universe to witness the pious solemnity of my vow. And the curse which I invoked of Him and of her, a saint in Helusion should I prove traitorous to that promise, involved a penalty the exceeding great horror of which will not permit me to make record of it here. And the bright eyes of Eleonora grew brighter at my words; and she sighed as if a deadly burthen had been taken from her breast; and she trembled and very bitterly wept; but she made acceptance of the vow, (for what was she but a child?) and it made easy to her the bed of her death. And she said to me, not many days afterward, tranquilly dying, that, because of what I had done for the comfort of her spirit she would watch over me in that spirit when departed, and, if so it were permitted her return to me visibly in the watches of the night; but, if this thing were, indeed, beyond the power of the souls in Paradise, that she would, at least, give me frequent indications of her presence, sighing upon me in the evening winds, or filling the air which I breathed with perfume from the censers of the angels. And, with these words upon her lips, she yielded up her innocent life, putting an end to the first epoch of my own.
  
Thus far I have faithfully said. But as I pass the barrier in Time's path, formed by the death of my beloved, and proceed with the second era of my existence, I feel that a shadow gathers over my brain, and I mistrust the perfect sanity of the record. But let me on.—Years dragged themselves along heavily, and still I dwelled within the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass; but a second change had come upon all things. The star-shaped flowers shrank into the stems of the trees, and appeared no more. The tints of the green carpet faded; and, one by one, the ruby-red asphodels withered away; and there sprang up, in place of them, ten by ten, dark, eye-like violets, that writhed uneasily and were ever encumbered with dew. And Life departed from our paths; for the tall flamingo flaunted no longer his scarlet plumage before us, but flew sadly from the vale into the hills, with all the gay glowing birds that had arrived in his company. And the golden and silver fish swam down through the gorge at the lower end of our domain and bedecked the sweet river never again. And the lulling melody that had been softer than the wind-harp of Aeolus, and more divine than all save the voice of Eleonora, it died little by little away, in murmurs growing lower and lower, until the stream returned, at length, utterly, into the solemnity of its original silence. And then, lastly, the voluminous cloud uprose, and, abandoning the tops of the mountains to the dimness of old, fell back into the regions of Hesper, and took away all its manifold golden and gorgeous glories from the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.
  
Yet the promises of Eleonora were not forgotten; for I heard the sounds of the swinging of the censers of the angels; and streams of a holy perfume floated ever and ever about the valley; and at lone hours, when my heart beat heavily, the winds that bathed my brow came unto me laden with soft sighs; and indistinct murmurs filled often the night air, and once—oh, but once only! I was awakened from a slumber, like the slumber of death, by the pressing of spiritual lips upon my own.
  
But the void within my heart refused, even thus, to be filled. I longed for the love which had before filled it to overflowing. At length the valley pained me through its memories of Eleonora, and I left it for ever for the vanities and the turbulent triumphs of the world.
  
I found myself within a strange city, where all things might have served to blot from recollection the sweet dreams I had dreamed so long in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. The pomps and pageantries of a stately court, and the mad clangor of arms, and the radiant loveliness of women, bewildered and intoxicated my brain. But as yet my soul had proved true to its vows, and the indications of the presence of Eleonora were still given me in the silent hours of the night. Suddenly these manifestations they ceased, and the world grew dark before mine eyes, and I stood aghast at the burning thoughts which possessed, at the terrible temptations which beset me; for there came from some far, far distant and unknown land, into the gay court of the king I served, a maiden to whose beauty my whole recreant heart yielded at once—at whose footstool I bowed down without a struggle, in the most ardent, in the most abject worship of love. What, indeed, was my passion for the young girl of the valley in comparison with the fervor, and the delirium, and the spirit-lifting ecstasy of adoration with which I poured out my whole soul in tears at the feet of the ethereal Ermengarde?—Oh, bright was the seraph Ermengarde! and in that knowledge I had room for none other.—Oh, divine was the angel Ermengarde! and as I looked down into the depths of her memorial eyes, I thought only of them—and of her.
  
I wedded;—nor dreaded the curse I had invoked; and its bitterness was not visited upon me. And once—but once again in the silence of the night; there came through my lattice the soft sighs which had forsaken me; and they modelled themselves into familiar and sweet voice, saying:
"Sleep in peace!—for the Spirit of Love reigneth and ruleth, and, in taking to thy passionate heart her who is Ermengarde, thou art absolved, for reasons which shall be made known to thee in Heaven, of thy vows unto Eleonora."

 
do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,

Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac
14 Siječanj 2013

THE RAVEN

Edgar Allan Poe was an awesome story teller about whom an awesome number of words have been written. I cannot speak for the present time, because I am not of the present time but of a former time when schoolboys and schoolgirls were required to memorize "The Raven."  That exercise left an impact on our lives.  There was a standard of communication set before us.  Lyrics and Prose rose at least toward this level or floundered and perished altogether. 
 
That was an era when lyricists and singers still dared not "F..." your sister or "F..." your mother. There was a certain respect and elegance even in the lightest songs.  This was not by any means a perfect time for in this time there were horrid wars and horrid events which swept over the earth on more than one occasion.  Yet, where pockets of civilization remained - and there were many - the words of Edgar Allan Poe remained and served as inspiration and comfort to those who read them or who heard them. I have no doubt that "The Raven" served to spur Rade Šerbedžija forward to recite poetry in the  fantastic and wonderful way that he has done for us. 
 
Oh fiddlesticks!! You don't know who is Rade Šerbedžija?  About a month and a half after I was born, Rade Šerbedžija was born in Bunić near Lika.  Amerikanski know him from supporting roles in "CSI-Miami", "The Saint", "The Polish Wedding," and "Mighty Joe Young."  We know him from "Crne ptice" (Black Birds), "Tamburaši", the "Tesla" TV series and "Majstori mraka" among many many others.
 
My recording "studio" is primitive by professional standards today and all my editing skills were learned from a radio station in McAllen where for several years I recorded "The Lutheran Minute."  I managed to  acquire some of those shows which appear now on SouthTexasSomething on YouTube as a portion of the series "Samo Riječ - Just a Word."  In this an more readings yet to come, I have striven to rise to Šerbedžija's level of performance with the old master of darkness himself - Poe.  Whether I have achieved my goal or not, you shall have to be the judge.  Whether or not I have  succeeded, I hope the listener will be somehow uplifted by my little effort.

So you can have them in front of you while you listen, the words of "The Raven":

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door—
Only this, and nothing more."
 
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
                          Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
                          This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you "—here I opened wide the door;——
                          Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"—
                          Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon I heard again a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
                          'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
                          Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
                         Quoth the raven "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
                         With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
                         Then the bird said "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
                         Of "Never—nevermore."

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
                         Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplght gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
                          She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent
thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
                          Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!"
                          Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
                          Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting—
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
                         Quoth the raven, "Nevermore."

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
                          Shall be lifted—nevermore!


 
do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,

Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac
 
14 Siječanj 2013


Saturday, April 7, 2012

Golubića

Her name was Golubića, which on engleski means "Dove."

In those days I worked for a forest products company whose name has long ago slipped into the misty annals of history. Save for the matter that the company was once one of the "Baronies" of east Texas it might be altogether forgotten by now.

In those days the general perception of the forest products industry was that it was a male industry.  You never heard of Jane Pauline Bunyon did you? Nope. When the company set out to entertain its customers the entertainment was male oriented.

One of those entertainments was hunting. We had a hunting lodge. We had a hunting lodge on leased land. The barony owned hundreds of thousands of acres and controlled millions more but we leased land for the hunters. The hunting expedition had to be in a sufficiently exotic location where the deer were a bit larger than the Virgina deer in East Texas forests. There were also quail on the land and lots and lots of dove who enjoyed the open grain fields which were present there part of the year.

Now, if you see me as some macho "great white hunter" type, your vision needs to be corrected. I am not. At least I am not the "great white hunter" sort. The macho part? I like women if that's what you are asking, but "macho?" Ne. I like women too much to be particularly "macho."

I have no problems with hunting for food. None at all. I like a good deer steak or deer and pork sausage. In fact, I will eat most anything. It's the hunting for sport I have a problem with. Gun go bang, something die. Not my cup of tea. 
 
I served in two militaries. I saw guns go bang. I saw dead. Boom, die is not something I like at all. Sorry. Nonetheless it was my duty to escort the mighty hunters and entertain them in such an exercise.

I returned from one such expedition on a Saturday which happened to be an election day. As I left the polling place I was greeted by a "poll watcher" who happened to have a box of kittens with him. One of them hopped out of the box and came to me. She went home with me too. 

I remember thinking that all my companions on the "great hunt" went home with that day were dead birds, but I got a cat for my troubles.  I got a friend.  I came out way ahead of all the others.

For lack of a better name, I called her "Golubića" - "Dove". Golubića took to me completely. There was tension in my house in those days and Golubića sensed all that immediately. She saw to it that I did not sleep alone any more. She perched on top of my head and kept watch when I slept. When anyone at all approached me during the short eighteen years she was with me, she alerted me.

I was gone for a while, we won't say for how long, or where I went, just that Golubića stayed with my parents and alerted them when any one certain person whom she perceived as a danger was approaching. Golubića could distinguish between the sounds of automobile engines from at least a half mile.

When I returned from the final adventure of the sort that took me away, Golubića clung to me closer than ever. That was a problem when I met and married Carole. Golubica wished to perch on my head and hiss at Carole when she wanted to snuggle. There was a contest of wills which Golubića lost. She was exiled to the outside world at night but she continued to keep watch.

I was in school in those days, sixty miles away. One day I was home at an unusual hour. In the middle of the afternoon Golubića began to hiss and growl and carry on in a most dreadful manner. In a few moments I was visited by that certain hostile individual. That's another story which ended in its own way.

I came home another afternoon to find Golubića on the ground in front of the steps to our little house. Hostile fire had been directed at her at point blank range. I dug a 38 bullet out of the ground beneath her head. It was murder clear and simple. The motive? To make me more vulnerable and to let me know just how vulnerable I had become.

There were serious criminal prosecutions already under way already against the perpetrator. Golubića's murder weighed heavily in the outcome of those matters.

Sometime still later I heard that the perpetrator was dead. I felt no sorrow. I still do not.

Golubića was my friend. She loved me.


do sljedeći put, blagoslov - until next time, blessings,

Canovals a.k.a. Slavonac
Travanj  2012